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Philip "HAWK" Hawkins doesn't just dream regarding eliminating vampires - He eats, rests, beverages and freakin' breaths it. After getting kicked out the Military for laying a fellow soldier with a blunt 2 by 4, Hawk nearly passes away of monotony working as an evening security personnel at a deserted warehouse in his hometown of Santa Muerte, California - USA. Just when it appears like all Hawk's choices in life have ended - Filthy blood-sucking vampires appear. And also of course - Nobody even freakin' thinks him. With his back up against the wall surface, his perspiring Martial arts Kid headband on and hordes of blood-thirsty homicidal vampires closing in, Hawk employs the help of the someone that type of thinks him - Revson "REV" McCabe, a dimwitted, vegan-pacifist groundskeeper. With each other they join pressures to save the whole entire freakin' world. Well - At the very least their home town anyway.